Dear Reader---On Suffering and Perseverance

In the process of my editing, I have decided to remove this excerpt from the book. I still would like to share it with you all, so here you have it. I urge you, if you have read it once, to give it a one over again. Perhaps you'll identify the changes it has gone through and hopefully we can engage in further conversation. Thank you, and enjoy.

DEAR READER,

It was Friedrich Nietzche who said, “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” I am no philosopher, though I believe that discovery and the exploration of self through the suffering we endure makes us dangerous by way of the awareness we achieve.

What you now hold in your hands offers you the opportunity to view suffering through the eyes of fictional characters. And through their struggles and episodes of adversity, my hope is you, Reader, take it as an opportunity to learn. Or—my greater hope—is that you delve into this ever-expanding world of Mercy and explore it with me.

I explore suffering—what it means to suffer, and why we suffer—and this has ultimately guided the building of Maetlynd and the Mercy Universe. I examine what happens when we choose to live into suffering, and how far is too far when we let suffering guide us. There have been times in my life when I wanted to suffer, believing that in it I could learn. But I have also taken it beyond reason, teetering on the edge of self-destruction.

I would also like you to explore what it means to be dangerous with me. Danger is far too often conflated with “bad.” And though it can be bad, it can also be incredibly powerful. To be articulate, to have awareness; these things guide us in life. Taking us along a path of constant perseverance. Although we may not always know what comes next, there is always a calling to something beyond each moment. A calling that yields progress as we consider just how dangerous we truly are. And I hope you are still willing to explore those hidden parts of yourself along with me as we persevere through this suffering.

When considering how to publish Mercy, I felt I was taking a risk with the size of the book, but trusted that the process would help identify what was necessary to tell the story. And with a book this big, you—Reader—are certainly taking a risk in trusting me. I would like you to know that your trust is not misplaced.

The Author-Reader relationship is one that, before it is firmly established, can be very fragile. You may have picked up the book because the cover caught your attention, for I did my best to assure that was the case. And perhaps you judged it by that, which I am prone to do myself.

Either way, you have decided to engage with me, picking up this book. And it is my debut novel, and it is rather large.

And though at the time of this writing I have only drafted the second book in this series, I am on this journey with you. Perhaps a little farther down the road, beckoning you to follow, but nonetheless, I have walked the same path you begin now. And I would do it over again and again—and have.

When I write, I have discovered sitting at my desk has been awfully similar to standing in front of a wall. There are days where the wall is brick, and I jam my head into it until it bleeds to squeeze one to two thousand barely legible words. But then there are days where I drive my head forward only to feel a soft curtain weigh upon it, grazing it more softly as I fall forward into my vision. As I worked through the process of writing this novel, I overturned every stone I could so that you, Reader, feel that soft touch of ease as you take a step beyond. Though within that greater beyond, you will find pain. Life is filled with pain and as Steven Pressfield calls it, “Resistance.”

In my journey through that pain, I discovered perseverance. And I hope that this novel urges you into whatever venture it is you find yourself most passionate about. I hope you too choose to endure.

And so, as you embark on this process, some steps you take may hurt more than others (I do my best that you don’t step on any d4’s… a Dungeons and Dragons reference for all of my fellow nerds). If a step wounds you, I promise you Reader, I will patch you up at the end of the road. Continue walking it like I have.

I hope you, Reader, find that this process exceeds your expectations. And I hope to continue our conversation through these years, for my journey is still ongoing, and will forever be.

Be well, and may what you have in your hands, make you truly dangerous.

Thank you Dave Butler, Gracie York of the York Editing Guild, and Emma Stearns for forming this into a proper, legible essay.